My example might be a bit far out, and yet, I like it. Whenever I go to a restaurant and order a Coke or Pepsi, I’m always asked, “Would you like regular or diet?” I admit that at times this simple questioned upset me. Was the waiter insinuating that I am fat? Did the waiter just assume because I’m not super skinny that I would want diet soda? After all, if I wanted a diet Pepsi, I would have asked for it. But, instead, I asked for a Pepsi, without the word diet anywhere in the equation.
As I thought about microaggressions, this incident began to drive me crazy. So, I had to do it! My husband and I went into Chile’s, and he ordered a Pepsi (considering that he only drinks unsweetened ice tea, I was most appreciative). The waiter never questioned him. Then, I told the waiter that I changed my mind, and I would have a Pepsi, too. And, of course, the waiter asked me if I wanted a regular or diet. I questioned his question. His reply surprised me, although this was better than my perceptions of being fat. He stated, “girls always want diet sodas.” So, because I am a female, it is assumed that I wanted a diet drink.
I find myself “looking” for microaggressions… listening
for them. I am overwhelmed by the
reality of their mere existence. The
world is filled with stereotypes, discrimination, and prejudices that I was
totally unaware of. I just feel the need
to look at each person as an individual, realizing that they bring with them
their own special social identities.
These social identities make them unique and special… perhaps it’s time
to celebrate these differences.
Lois,
ReplyDeleteGreat example of microaggression. I think your example states that even the simplest assumptions can be internalized as hurtful and possibly far from the speaker's intentions. This week has introduced new and important vocabulary. I am more aware and have caught myself a couple times already and have had to apologize for the statements made.
Very interesting insights Lois, it never occurred to me, but I will be watching out for it next time we dine out, just for fun. Speaking of restaurants, here are a couple of incidents that I have experienced. Once I was dining out with my daughter at our favorite Italian restaurant. As the waiter picked up our plates, she looked at my daughter and said “wow, I have never seen anyone finish that before!”
ReplyDeleteThis past summer, my brother’s family came to visit from Scotland so we drove up to Northern California and stayed near Sequoia. Arriving late and tired, we barely made it to the only restaurant open in the area that night. As the waiter was making his round to pick up the empty plates, he looked at my niece who was still nibbling at her mashed potatoes and remarked “are you done? I don’t want to lose a finger”. How is that for being weight conscious
Lois, I never thought of it that way, but you are correct about the waiters they do ask women would you like that a diet. On one occasion my friend ask for a diet soda, and I wanted just a soda, she ask me did I want to diet as well. I replied no I donot want diet, I just want what I ask for. But this week assignment has realy open my eyes about Microaggressions in everyday life.
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