My Family Culture

            The first item that I would take with me is a picture that I have of my mom, my dad, and me.  I was about 3 ½ years old, and I was sitting with them on the front porch step of our home in Philadelphia.  The picture is in my bedroom drawer, tucked away in a manila envelope.  It is in black and white; the edges are frayed, but it brings back memories.  I remember sitting on the step often talking with neighbors or eating ice cream from the corner store.  I remember running down the steps to greet my dad after work or running up the steps to greet my mom after school.  The picture brings back many memories.

            I lost my mom to a stroke about a year and a half ago.  She lived with me for almost 22 years.  She was my rock, my best friend, my mom, and the best anmom (grandmom) ever; this assignment made me wonder if, indeed, she was aware of how much she meant to us.  My dad passed away when I was 16 years old.  I remember dancing with him at my Sweet 16 party.  I remember surprising my parents for their 24^th wedding anniversary, about 6 months before he died of cancer.  I remember my dad building a desk for my sister and I in our basement.  I remember his hugs.  I do not remember his face; I wish my memories were more vivid.

            The second item was a bit more difficult.  Initially, I wanted to take my engagement/wedding ring, but I am going under the assumption that I am wearing them.  So, instead, I would take a pile of cards that Stan (my husband) sent me before our marriage (or at the very beginning of our marriage).  Currently, these cards are secured in my drawer with a rubber-band.  Each card held great meaning to me (they still do), but Stan went a step further.  On each card, he wrote one or two thoughts of his feelings for me or the life that we would share.  While this may sound corny, his words written over 28 years ago still hold just as much value for me today (maybe even more).

            Finally, for my third item, I would take the box of pictures under my bed of Adam growing up.  Some pictures are in albums and some of just floating in the box, but the box would count as 1 item.  Adam is an only child, and I would give my life for him in a minute; he gave my life a meaning that I never knew existed.  Stan and I tried to do everything possible to assure that Adam had the “perfect” childhood.  Although there are things we would do differently, we shared some amazing times together… many of which are captured in the pictures that are in the box.  So, even though I need to leave my country, I still have memories of the life we had together; they may hold a bitter sweet memory, but at least, the pictures would serve as visual memories.

              NOW… if I can only bring one of the three items, I would, without a doubt, bring the picture of my mom, dad, and me.  This was a no-brainer.  After all, Stan and Adam would, thankfully, be with me. Perhaps, I could put this picture and the cards in the box with Adam’s pictures, and then, I would be bringing only one item… the box, which would be filled to capacity.

            This blog made me think, really think.  For me, my past family culture does not seem as important as my current family culture.  In a way, this caused a bit of sadness, but for me, it is reality.  As I was growing up, I was privy to many family mishaps, and to this day, I still wonder how family could literally take what was not theirs, while hurting a whole lot of people in the process.  At one time, I thought that I wanted to live in a fairytale land where everyone was nice, but now, after thinking about this (and thinking some more), I realize that I just wanted my family to have what was theirs.  I just never imagined that family members could lie or cheat one another.  It hurts to think that these are people who I spent so much time with growing up and loved. 

            The items that I chose represent my own little family of my hubby and son.  We might be small, but we share a whole lot of love and respect.  I would not hurt them for the world; as a matter of fact, I would give up everything I have for them.  Each item that I choose represents them, but being able to leave my home with them would make everything a whole lot easier.