I Need Specifics! A Communication Challenge

This is a challenging blog assignment for me.  When I have a disagreement or conflict with someone, it is truly personal, and for the most part, I will bend over backwards to find a compromise or give in.  I do not like conflict.  I take it personally when someone is upset with me, although I am beginning to understand that it is alright if we agree to disagree.  I’ve also come to the reality that I cannot please everyone.

For the conflict that I chose to share, I have changed names… just because you never know who might read this blog.  

Months ago, I scheduled a workshop at a school in Florida.  The contract was signed, sealed, and delivered.  The only thing missing was the location and the amount of participants.  One month prior to the training, I reached out to the supervisor only to find out that a location was still being acquired, and the exact number of teachers would be determined based on the location.  It seemed like we were going in a circle with no end, but I was determined to be patient.  However, at two weeks prior to the workshop, I was informed that nothing has changed; the circle was not opening.

At that point, my patience had run its course.  Without a participant count, I could not prepare my supplies.  A count was critical; the location was not.  After speaking with the supervisor (AKA training director or consultant), I was informed that I need to remain patient, because she was doing the best she could.  Then, she went on to suggest that I plan for 50, and if there were 100, I could just add to the amount of supplies; at least, I was ahead of the game.  This was not a pretty circle anymore, because I began to take it personally, which I understand was not a great choice.  However, I resented her telling me what I need to do for my workshop, especially since so much of my art workshop is hands-on.  It is imperative to have a count; there is a huge difference between 50 and 100. 

To make a long story short, I found out 3 days prior to the workshop that there would be approximately 80 in attendance.  My husband and I crammed during this time to prepare, making certain we had enough materials for the workshop. 

This entire incident was, in fact, a huge learning experience for me, and after taking this course, I understand so much more.  Without a doubt, I needed to suggest a compromise.  I would prepare for a number of participants between 50 and 75, and that would be the cap for the workshop. 

Knowledge of Magda Gerber’s 3 R’s might have added a bit of sugar to this predicament.  This individual and I have built a relationship through a respectful, responsive, and reciprocal relationship.  I have presented numerous times for this group.  As an educator, I pride myself on my workshops, and I understand the huge amount of time needed to prepare.  I was not going to do anything but my best, and unfortunately 3 days prior was not respecting my time; in addition, she was not, in my opinion, responsive to my needs as a speaker. 

As an early childhood communicator, I learned that I need to be open and up-front.  While suggesting a compromise might have worked, I, also, could have been more specific.  I just presumed that the supervisor understood what went into presenting a quality workshop.  I was literally in disbelief that nothing was falling into place, especially with my workshop right around the corner.  Looking back, it would have helped tremendously if I explained the reason for needing a count of participants; this might have encouraged understanding.  Instead I became frustrated, adding to the supervisor’s obvious frustration, and our personalities were adding to the conflict.  This explanation would have built respect, encouraging a responsive answer; this would have gone a long way to build upon our reciprocal relationship! 

(I will add as a PS that I did ask a fellow colleague of mine what she would have done in a similar situation… she sparked up and said, “I would have cancelled!”)