Communicating Among Different Groups & Cultures

During our prior class, I have come to the realization that, growing up, I was sheltered from diversity.  For me, I find it interesting to reflect on cultural diversity, from a different perspective.

Two years ago, I became a reading partner, and I was assigned a school in my area.  I actually requested this particular school, because I knew many of the teachers; they had attended my workshops.  My excitement dwindled quickly, as I was faced with my own culture shock.  Probably, for the first time in my life, being Caucasian equated to the minority.  In this school, I would say that 95% of the staff and students are African American, Hispanic, or Haitian.  Whether it was realistic or not, I felt that everyone (and I mean everyone!) was staring at me. 

When I entered the classroom, the teachers were speaking English and Spanish.  I noticed that the teachers spoke Spanish amongst themselves, hoping that the children did not understand what they were saying.  I will never forget one time when a teacher told another teacher, right in front of me, don’t forget that Miss Lois doesn’t understand us.  I will never forget those words… what did they mean?  Did it mean that I do not understand the language or the person?  I felt very alienated and upset.  I tended to do my job, rather than confronting a teacher, even with a question.

Looking back, there are several strategies that could have been employed immediately, eliminating the feeling of uneasiness.  Beebe, Beebe, and Richmond (2011) stated “we communicate effectively and appropriately when we can connect to others based on what we hold in common” (p. 103).  In spite of our differences, we shared a mutual connection based on the students in this school.  We were both working to make a difference in the lives of these young children.  “With regard to cultural differences, to be mindful is to acknowledge that there is a connection between thoughts and deeds when you interact with a person’s background different from your own” (Beebe, et al., 2011, p. 103).  Perhaps, instead of limiting my conversation, it would have been beneficial to extend my conversation, talking about the children and the activities that we would be sharing.  I could have questioned the teachers on what they were doing in the classroom, so collectively, we could bring the two programs together.  This is what ultimately has occurred, but it took almost a year.

In addition, every time that I went into the classroom, I felt like the teachers were talking down to me, demonstrating no respect.  There was never a smile or a “good morning.”  It was like they knew what I wanted, so they just told the child to go with me.  According to Beebe, et al. (2011), “people hold stereotypical views of others based on other’s perceived age.  Older adults don’t like to patronized and younger people value social support, empathetic listening, and being mentored” (p. 91).  Looking back, I tend to agree with this.  Perhaps, the younger teachers were inhibited or uncomfortable with the fact that I was older and more experienced than they are.  Once I began to share activities with them, they began to open up to me.  Now, in many ways, I have become a mentor.  Again, if, at the beginning, I would have shared with the teachers encouraging their participation in our reading program, they would have been involved from the beginning; instead, the alienation continued.

Finally, this job and our last class, has taught me the importance of empathizing with others.  I was self-focused on fitting in.  Vuckovic (2008) stated “it is difficult to gather information about the other person is we are consumed with thoughts of ourselves; we need to accept that there are differences between individuals and cultures” (p. 53).  Ultimately, I stepped back and looked at life in the teachers’ lives and classrooms through their eyes, rather than my own perspectives.  I was able to empathize with their challenges and celebrate their accomplishments.  My viewpoint was no longer marginalized.

Working in this amazing environment has taught me so much about the reality of the world.  I have learned to respect the cultures of others.  I understand the importance of valuing this diversity.  None of this, however, would not have been accomplished without advancing my communication skills, and at the same time, the communication skills of the staff.

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon. 

Vuckovic, A. (2008). Inter-cultural communication: A foundation of communicative action. Multicultural Education and Technology Journal, 2(1), 47–59.