In college, I became best friends with a singer,
musician. He lived in Las Vegas, and I
visited on weekends. I stayed at his
house, played with his dogs, and ate his delicious cooking; I went to his shows
and enjoyed his music. We went to
movies, shows, and just hung out. I had
no idea what-so-ever that he was gay. When
he finally told me, I had a decision to make.
In addition to being shocked, I questioned my association with a “gay”
individual. We talked opening about our
feelings; we were both honest. Either I
accept him for who he is, or I lose one of the best friends ever. His
being gay did not change who he was; how could I be so biased? Obviously, I accepted him, and we are still
friends to this day.
However, not all of friends were so accepting. One weekend, my friend and his partner were
staying at my house. We were going to
Disneyland on Saturday with a group of my friends. I remember it well, because I was celebrating
my 21st birthday. There were
quite a few of my college buddies, none of whom knew that my friend was
gay. It just did not matter.
We met my friends at the entrance to the park. I introduced all of my friends, and
everything was wonderful. I was so happy
to be surrounded by so many awesome friends.
Then, out of the blue, my friend, Katie, told me that she figured out
that my Vegas friend was gay, and she wanted to know what I was going to do
about it. I had no clue what I was to do
about it. I flipped out a bit,
explaining that my “Vegas friend” had a name.
She acted as if these individuals were off limit, and without a doubt,
she was uncomfortable. I could not
believe it, and to this day, I still am in disbelief that this happened. Katie ended up leaving the park without any
explanation to anyone; we had no idea (and still don’t) how she got home. I never spoke to her again; I saw her around
campus, but that was that. There were no
harsh words; she just did not want to be my friend (or hang out with my crowd)
if I had a gay friend (or if they accepted my friend).
Remembering this gives me chills and brings tears to my
eyes. She missed out, though, not
me. I am just thankful I was able to
accept my friend’s sexuality and embrace it.
Now, many, many, many, many years later, I still adore this individual;
he is like a big brother to me… he is my son’s godfather… and I just wish we
lived closer. He’s gay, and I’m not; who
cares?
We met my friends at the entrance to the park. I introduced all of my friends, and
everything was wonderful. I was so happy
to be surrounded by so many awesome friends.
Then, out of the blue, my friend, Katie, told me that she figured out
that my Vegas friend was gay, and she wanted to know what I was going to do
about it. I had no clue what I was to do
about it. I flipped out a bit,
explaining that my “Vegas friend” had a name.
She acted as if these individuals were off limit, and without a doubt,
she was uncomfortable. I could not
believe it, and to this day, I still am in disbelief that this happened. Katie ended up leaving the park without any
explanation to anyone; we had no idea (and still don’t) how she got home. I never spoke to her again; I saw her around
campus, but that was that. There were no
harsh words; she just did not want to be my friend (or hang out with my crowd)
if I had a gay friend (or if they accepted my friend).

It's great to see a blog of this quality. I learned a lot of new things and I'm looking forward to see more like this. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteUCLA Medical center
Lois! What a wonderful post!
ReplyDeleteI adore the quote and I completely agree!
When I was a small child we lived in Dallas and our neighbors were our best friends; Ann and me, her mom and my mom. I often wonder if life would have been different (if we had not moved an hour away), if my mom & Ann's mom would still be friends. Once my mom discovered that Carley was a lesbian their relationship seemed to change; Mother claims to still be her friend, but they have only spoken a few times in the last 40 years or so. It was sad to see their friendship go from one extreme to the other. But like I said, it may have been the move more than anything else... I just wonder.
Thanks again for sharing!
Lois,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your blog with us. It is very enlightening. You are so correct in the fact that being gay does not change who someone is. I have a few gay/lesbian friends today and I am truly blessed to have such great friends in my life. Some people today are still unaccepting of others differences. It is sad.