Relationship Reflection

Relationships are the core to our existence.  Without them, we would be alone.  I lost a special relationship in my life a little over a year and a half ago when my mom passed away  She was my best friend; we shared laughter and tears.  My dad passed away when my sister and I were quite young, and at that point, my mom became mother and father to us.  For the last 20 years of her life, my mom lived with me; she was like a mom to my husband, and her relationship with my son was powerful.  Now, as I think of the specific term “relationships,” I wonder if my mom understood how much we valued our relationship with her.  I wish that I would have said “thank you” more.  However, I remember the last time I saw her in Hospice, our eyes met, and she cried; then, she looked at me with so much love.  I’ll never forget that moment.  For me, it was important that I include this relationship first, because although she is not physically with me, our relationship is very much with me. 



Stan & I on a cruise in Mexico



My partner in life is my husband of 28 years, Stan.  Our relationship was sealed quite quickly, because he asked me to marry him on our first official date.  We had so much against us; he was older than me, he had older kids, I was just out of an abusive relationship, and the list goes on.  However, I remember that date as if it was yesterday; we knew it was “right.”  It was a once in a lifetime relationship from the start; I’ve never looked back.  Stan is my best friend; we totally trust and respect each other.  I really like him. 

Adam

My relationship with our son, Adam, is the both rewarding and challenging; I would do just about anything for this relationship.  It’s tough being a parent, even when they are all grown up.  We understand that our relationship will always be there, but I’m learning that I have to give him space; that does not mean giving up the relationship.  I love him unconditionally, and if possible, this love grows each day.



When I think of the friends in my life who I have relationships with, I understand that some are friends and some are acquaintances.  Both are important relationships.  For instance, my friend from high school, Robin, and I recently connected through Facebook; it’s as if we have been friends forever.  I know that she will always be there for me; distance and time just do not seem to matter anymore.   She always was a forever friend.

My friend, Chris, and I have been friends since I was 22 (that’s a long time ago!).  I met him while I was doing some public relations work in Las Vegas.   We were very different people, and yet, we trusted each other almost instantly.  Chris currently lives in Tennessee, and although I haven’t seen him in several years, I know that he will always be there for me, as I will for him.

Marta & I setting up NAEYC

There are other friends that I could mention, but I will end with my newest friend, Marta.  I met her about 2 years ago through the Palm Beach Literacy Coalition.  For whatever reason, we hooked up.  She is an amazing influence on my life both in and outside of my work.  We have become “forever” friends in a very short time.  She is the first person that I call (besides Stan or Adam) for just about everything; I know she will listen, be honest, and help.  I think our friendship is totally mutual, because I would do anything for her. 

Through the years, some relationships in my life have gone sour and some have simply vanished through the cracks.  Each relationship, in its own right, has helped to mold me into who I am today.  I guess that trust and friendship are important in my relationships; I need to know that I can totally count on this person.  Honesty and open-communication would, also, be a factor. 

As far as my work in the field of early childhood goes, several of the above mentioned relationships play a role.  My husband makes my workshops possible; his involvement allows me extra hours to do what I need to do.  He offers assurance and is my best critic.  Although he does not have an early childhood background, he has become somewhat of an expert; our conversations about the field are challenging and extend my own ideas.  In this same respect, my friend Marta is becoming more involved with early childhood; her background in special education makes her a wonderful sounding board for me.  I love attending conferences with her, whether we are presenting or not; we share ideas, learn together, and laugh a lot.   There are other relationships in my life that directly impact my work in the early childhood field. 

I understand that every relationship or partnership affects my work.  The people I am in contact with alter my life in some form.  These relationships shape my actions or reactions.  I may, or may not, change or grow as a result of each.  I just hope that I’m smart enough to know the difference.