My Connections to Play

     "It’s a happy talent to know how to play."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Life must be lived as play"

Plato

Play is everything that I remember about my childhood.  I remember jumping in the leaves, sliding down mountains of snow, and jumping rope.  I remember playing make-believe in my basement and becoming a Princess, a dancer, and a clown.  I remember playing Monopoly with my family around the dinner table.  I remember reading books with my parents ever night, sometimes the same story over and over.  My parents, my family, and my friends were a part of my childhood; they played with me. 

Barbie Dream House

I remember playing with Barbie and Ken dolls in their own Barbie Dream House.  I had a Barbie that was my size, and together, we made up stories about Barbie and Ken.  My mom would often write these stories in a special book; I played being an author.  My parents validated my play by giving my stories value.  I wish, with all of my heart, that I had that book today. 

When I wasn’t playing Barbie, I was making up stories about Mickey Mouse.  My favorite toy was a Mickey Mouse doll that I took everywhere with me (it would be worth a fortune today!).  Mickey, for me, was what a teddy bear is for children; he was my teddy.  I would make up stories about Mickey’s friends, too, and that’s probably why Disney World was such a huge part of my son’s childhood.  Today, my den is surrounded by Mickey Mouse items, and I still visit Disney World whenever the opportunity exists.  As I enter Disney, I feel like a child, and I’m definitely ready to play.

While I had an abundance of toys bought from a store, I definitely do not remember them.  With the exception of Barbie and some board games, I remember the boxes that “things” came in, and how I used a box to design a circus tent for my make-believe circus… and a box to make a car to drive to Disney, of course… and a box to create a kitchen, which was more fun than the toy kitchen I had in the room.  There were a zillion costumes in my basement, just waiting for a story or play to arise.  My favorite costume, of course, was Cinderella, and I wore the glass slippers all the time!  For me, reading was a form of play; books were my toys!  I loved to read, and I remember my parents reading with me all of the time.  I used to think the library was the best place to "play;" I remember going to the big library in downtown Philadelphia and spending an entire day there.  Books were the best present that I could receive, except an empty box!!!!

Play today is very different from what I remember.  Parents are afraid to let their children go outside to play; our doors were never locked, so I could go in and out to play with the neighborhood kids.  Children today play video games, where they need little imagination or creativity.  Today, the computer or television fill children’s weekends.  Parents are often too busy to play with their children; my parents always played with me.  My mom did not work, so she spent a lot of time playing with me (and my sister).  My mom and I pained in the living room, cooked in the kitchen, and used play dough on the basement floor.  We made cities out of blocks together and necklaces out of shells we collected on the beach.  Play was my life as a young child. 

As an adult, I can see reflections of my childhood play.  I guess my parents were strong enough to build its value into my existence, and of course, my husband is flexible enough to allow me to keep some child-like characteristics.  I still like to create, even if it’s for a workshop.  I love to paint with liquid water color, just like young children.  I love to design books that children can use in their classroom.  These activities, although work related, are play, for me.  They bring out my creativity and my imagination; they allow me to reflect on my childhood as see the world with the awe and wonder of a child.  I hope that we’ve rubbed some of these thoughts off on our son, Adam; playing as a big kid is pretty remarkable, too!

Relationship Reflection

Relationships are the core to our existence.  Without them, we would be alone.  I lost a special relationship in my life a little over a year and a half ago when my mom passed away  She was my best friend; we shared laughter and tears.  My dad passed away when my sister and I were quite young, and at that point, my mom became mother and father to us.  For the last 20 years of her life, my mom lived with me; she was like a mom to my husband, and her relationship with my son was powerful.  Now, as I think of the specific term “relationships,” I wonder if my mom understood how much we valued our relationship with her.  I wish that I would have said “thank you” more.  However, I remember the last time I saw her in Hospice, our eyes met, and she cried; then, she looked at me with so much love.  I’ll never forget that moment.  For me, it was important that I include this relationship first, because although she is not physically with me, our relationship is very much with me. 



Stan & I on a cruise in Mexico



My partner in life is my husband of 28 years, Stan.  Our relationship was sealed quite quickly, because he asked me to marry him on our first official date.  We had so much against us; he was older than me, he had older kids, I was just out of an abusive relationship, and the list goes on.  However, I remember that date as if it was yesterday; we knew it was “right.”  It was a once in a lifetime relationship from the start; I’ve never looked back.  Stan is my best friend; we totally trust and respect each other.  I really like him. 

Adam

My relationship with our son, Adam, is the both rewarding and challenging; I would do just about anything for this relationship.  It’s tough being a parent, even when they are all grown up.  We understand that our relationship will always be there, but I’m learning that I have to give him space; that does not mean giving up the relationship.  I love him unconditionally, and if possible, this love grows each day.



When I think of the friends in my life who I have relationships with, I understand that some are friends and some are acquaintances.  Both are important relationships.  For instance, my friend from high school, Robin, and I recently connected through Facebook; it’s as if we have been friends forever.  I know that she will always be there for me; distance and time just do not seem to matter anymore.   She always was a forever friend.

My friend, Chris, and I have been friends since I was 22 (that’s a long time ago!).  I met him while I was doing some public relations work in Las Vegas.   We were very different people, and yet, we trusted each other almost instantly.  Chris currently lives in Tennessee, and although I haven’t seen him in several years, I know that he will always be there for me, as I will for him.

Marta & I setting up NAEYC

There are other friends that I could mention, but I will end with my newest friend, Marta.  I met her about 2 years ago through the Palm Beach Literacy Coalition.  For whatever reason, we hooked up.  She is an amazing influence on my life both in and outside of my work.  We have become “forever” friends in a very short time.  She is the first person that I call (besides Stan or Adam) for just about everything; I know she will listen, be honest, and help.  I think our friendship is totally mutual, because I would do anything for her. 

Through the years, some relationships in my life have gone sour and some have simply vanished through the cracks.  Each relationship, in its own right, has helped to mold me into who I am today.  I guess that trust and friendship are important in my relationships; I need to know that I can totally count on this person.  Honesty and open-communication would, also, be a factor. 

As far as my work in the field of early childhood goes, several of the above mentioned relationships play a role.  My husband makes my workshops possible; his involvement allows me extra hours to do what I need to do.  He offers assurance and is my best critic.  Although he does not have an early childhood background, he has become somewhat of an expert; our conversations about the field are challenging and extend my own ideas.  In this same respect, my friend Marta is becoming more involved with early childhood; her background in special education makes her a wonderful sounding board for me.  I love attending conferences with her, whether we are presenting or not; we share ideas, learn together, and laugh a lot.   There are other relationships in my life that directly impact my work in the early childhood field. 

I understand that every relationship or partnership affects my work.  The people I am in contact with alter my life in some form.  These relationships shape my actions or reactions.  I may, or may not, change or grow as a result of each.  I just hope that I’m smart enough to know the difference.